recommendation: how to deal with temperamental fruit and veggies

I came home from work today to find my glorious, perfectly round, 20 lb (its seriously heavy) watermelon, hand picked by yours truly, FOAMING and drooling on the counter. My first reaction was to look up at the ceiling because I thought the unit above was leaking. Then I rolled it over and realized it was originating from the melon, which was then followed by a major freak out session as I thought it might explode (visions of it shooting like a rocket directly at my head (?!), spewing rotten melon everywhere). It also strangely smelled like beer, which I thought might be the Rogue Hazelnut Brown Nectar (try it, awesome) beer bottle sitting on the counter. Here’s what my research led me to find:

- My watermelon was rotting
- The liquid leaking from it was because it was fermenting
- This watermelon was NOT safe to eat

This got me curious about other fruit & veggies since mine tends to go bad quick, so I decided to do some fruit & veggie homework. Here are some of my reoccurring questions, answered (via other websites and blogs):

Is it OK to eat the nice looking lettuce if there was a slimy piece or two in the bag?
Most websites I found say if its slimy, its rotten, which means you either didn’t store it properly or its past its expiration date. If its past its expiration, don’t risk it, its there for a reason (rule follower). Here are some tips on how to store properly: 5 ways to keep your lettuce fresh

Are wrinkled bell peppers OK to eat?

As long as there is no mold or brown spots, its ok. If the seeds aren’t white then its probably gone bad. If its wrinkly or a little sunk in, most say its still ok. Just best to cook vs eating raw since won’t be very crunchy.

Are bruised apples OK to eat?
Normally just caused by oxidation so ok. But be cautious – if it’s a deep or dark bruise or has a lot of bruises, you might find something in there!

Is it OK to eat a tomato with a hole in it?
Couldn’t find many answers on this one, from what I see, try cutting it out, if it seems like it was just dented or poked by something then its alright. If it has discoloration around the hold, might be bugged, pitch it.

How long is chopped onion good for?
This very official looking site says after you chop it, store it in sealed container, good for 7-10 days. Love this clever onion storage tip, reusing an empty water bottle!

Is it OK to eat a potato if it has roots growing out of it?
As long as roots don’t have green spots or leaves and potato doesn’t have green or black spots, then yes. Just gouge roots out with knife and carry on.

How long can you keep garlic for?
6 months at room temperature is not abnormal. If you don’t use garlic quicker than that, I feel bad for your taste buds. Here is more than you ever wanted to know about garlic.

Is it OK to eat a brown banana?
Yes. Wanna know why they go from green to brown?

If you have a moldy berry in the box, is it OK to eat the ones that weren’t touching it?
Yes. Someone posts here what Whole Foods says so obvs we can trust this advice: when you buy berries, pick out moldy ones, wash the rest and put on paper plate with paper towel in fridge. Consume within 2 days. Will spoil at room temperature.

And, as long as we are on the topic of produce going bad, I’d like to sadly report this update that my radishes were attacked by Aphids (ew, ew, ew). I almost cried. I tried a home remedy (veggie oil, dish soap, hot water) which I sprayed onto the infested leaves. I don’t know if the bugs killed the radishes, the mixture, or the fact that I probably sprayed 20 times what I was supposed to onto them. Just to be safe. I’m still growing them all the way, even though they look dry, mangled and unhappy. One, just to say I grew radishes, and two, to see what they will look like full term. I noticed a few more nasty evil Aphids around my garden so I got professional Ortho Elementals spray from Home Depot, and its worked beautifully. My plants are all lovely and alive, and per the instruction label and home depot employee, its safe to eat any produce after spraying this stuff.